Bridesmaids quit after being sent ‘absurd’ requests but bride doesn’t see an issue

When it comes to weddings, everyone has different ideas of what they want their special day to be like.

Some will want to elope or have a more intimate affair, while others dream of splashing the cash and going all out on their big day.

One bride-to-be has shared her plans for a destination wedding next summer and says she was so excited to get planning with her bridal party.

However, in a post on Reddit’s Am I The A**hole forum, the unnamed woman admits that since sharing her plans with her bridesmaids two have quit the wedding already.

In a post that has since gone viral, the bride from the US shares the list of requests she sent her pals, which include spending lots of money (potentially thousands) and a suggestion to lose weight.

She wrote: “I’m having a destination wedding in July 2022.

“My sister will be my MOH and I told her to make a group chat with all the bridesmaids and pass down my requests to them.

“My requests seemed reasonable at first but then my bridesmaids started backing down one after the other. Some of my requests were that since it’s a destination wedding they’ll pay for their own rooms in the same resort hotel my husband, I and our families will stay. They’re also required to buy their own dresses and find their own hairstylists and makeup artists.

“My MOH also told them how she’s planning the bachelorette party which will be a weekend getaway and how everyone there covers their own costs. I also suggested if any of them wants to diet I’ll appreciate it but they’re not forced to of course. I’m not strict on that request it’s just a suggestion.”

She goes on to confess that after the requests were sent out a few of her bridesmaids “stepped down” as they couldn’t afford to be in the wedding.

“They said the dresses I showed them are also too expensive. I said that I offered two choices for that reason, so they can pick whichever one they can afford (both dresses are the same colour just different cuts). They said both choices are still too expensive and there’s no way they can afford both a destination wedding and a destination bachelorette,” she explained.

“They told me if they could pick a cheaper hotel or Airbnb to stay because they can’t afford the one I picked and I said that’s not really a good idea because I want all my bridal party on the same place as me at all times. They said they’ll step down.”

Following this, the bride met with the remaining bridesmaids to share her upset over the “drama” – but not all of them were sympathetic.

The bride added: “One of them told me that my requests are not possible to fulfil for everyone so I shouldn’t take it personally.

“I said those are regular requests any bride makes for her wedding, why am I not allowed to? She said I need to grow up and realise not everyone can afford it and it’s not my business to argue about it.

“She said unless I can get my s**t together she’ll drop out too because I don’t seem understanding and I’ll be a nightmare to work with. The rest of the bridesmaids comforted me and said that those who dropped out are not true supportive friends, my sister also told me to ignore them and move on. But I’m very hurt my bridal party started off with drama because of my requests. AITA?”

More than 3,000 people responded to the Reddit post, with many stunned by the bride’s requests.

One person said: “There is a part of me that wonders if this is actually written by one of the bridesmaids having a dig at the bride, because there is no way someone could write all of this out and still think they are not an entitled AH.”

Another replied: “No, these are NOT requests ‘every bride’ makes. You should be willing to work with them, cover costs for them when able, that sort of thing. Even the makeup artist cost falls to them?! For a destination wedding?! AND the expensive resort AND the dresses? Come on.

“Everything you’re requesting is absurd. YTA and if you value your friends at all, you’ll make this easier on them. Otherwise, you’ll come out of this with none.”

A third posted: “If she wants everything her way why doesn’t she pay for it?”